How to be a great dad
This title is misleading. Does anyone really know the answer to that?
I did, however, get 16 weeks of Paternity Leave last year for the birth of my daughter. I was able to have four whole months to spend with my wife, my (then) 2 year old son, and my newborn daughter. How lucky was I?
It was really during that time when I was able to take a pause, reflect, and realize that these moments with my kids are finite. So many milestones (and they’re so freaking adorable!). I wanted to document everything, capture every moment, and immerse myself in the experience of fatherhood that I wouldn’t normally have the time (or energy) to do while I was working.
The first thing I did? Start an Instagram account, @dadinsf. I didn’t want to baby spam my friends on my real IG, so this became my ‘Finsta’ (I’m probably using this term wrong since this is what the kids say) where I could post freely about my life as a dad. I was officially on 100% dad mode and I had no regrets about taking such a huge chunk of time off in my career.
I remember during my leave how Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian had just written an article for The New York Times advocating for fathers to take advantage of parental leave. He was also interviewed on NPR where he explained why this is so essential for families:
“… I wanted to give cover for everyone - men and women - to take full advantage of the policy because, at the end of the day, I think that that stigma remains until enough of us - and then I do mean in particular like male executives - can lead by example and show that we can take this time, be away from the office, be there for our families and still be just as driven, still be just as motivated and not have it be perceived as a weakness.”
This resonated so strongly with me. It made me confident in my decision to take my full four months of leave and it empowered me to use this time to the fullest. I got to experience so many of my daughter’s '“firsts” and I got to create even more new memories with my son.
How do you be a great dad? No one knows the exact answer. But one thing I do know - show up. Take the time with your kids. These moments don’t last forever.
First photo as a family of four (Jan 28 2019)
